au - needs a title

[sammysicle]

Summer 2013 - Josh and Chloe are 3.5

Sam and Jen had been looking forward to Saturday all week. Carol would be watching Chloe and Josh while Sam and Jen took Lily and  Harley out on one of the trails. It had been a while since they'd both been out together. Rob and Steve were going to be working on their trucks, or so they said. Sam seen them more likely to sit out under one of the big shade trees with a cooler full of beer and doing nothing. She and Jen didn't mind. They were just excited about getting out on the trails.

Once they'd all eaten lunch and got the kids down for their naps, Sam pushed Steve against the wall and kissed him softly. "Sure you two don't wanna come with us?"

Comments

[sammysicle]

"I know there's not and nobody's getting mine." She reached over and gently squeezed Rob's knee. "I know of one more good one." She was referring to him. He made Jen so happy just like Steve did her.

[sgtshriver]

Rob looked down at her hand on his knee and chuckled, "Oh stop, I aint that great" He said, "I couldnt fix this" he said just above a whisper, swallowing hard and wishing he hadnt downed the rest of that beer so quickly.

[sammysicle]

"Yes you are, Rob." she assured him, patting his knee this time. She swallowed hard with his last words and had to look away for a moment when her guilt surfaced once more. "You weren't there, Rob. I'm the one that couldn't fix this. I tried."

[sgtshriver]

"It ain't your fault Sam, you couldn't have done anythin'" he said softly, looking down at her hand on his knee, "She wanted to go ridin', you and me both know there ain't no stoppin' her from ridin'" he said gently, standing and shuffling to the fridge, grabbing out two more beers and popping the caps off, setting one on the coffee table for her and taking a sip of the other one.

[sammysicle]

"I felt my fingertips brush across his reins. I was so damn close and then he just bolted." Even with the buzz she had, she saw him look at her hand on his knee and when he got up, for a second she thought he might be ready for bed, until he went to the kitchen. She finished off her beer before he came back and picked up the fresh one, taking a sip. "I know she loved it. When we had the horses in the water, we were talking about how much fun we had riding and how we still wanted to ride when we were eighty. She told me she wanted to ride until the day she died because she wanted to ride forever." She didn't know if he knew about Harley and didn't ask, either Steve or Will could tell him unless he asked her.

[ooc: I know that icon doesn't fit the tag but it totally looks like Sam. It's another one from that movie of Channing's Side Effects]

[sgtshriver]

He glanced over at her and shook his head, "It aint your fault Sam, it aint any'a our faults but we cant help but think and feel it is" He said softly, taking a sip of his beer, "She always told me she'd die if she'd never be able to ride again, she used to hate the winters when we'd get a lotta rain and she couldnt ride" He smiled, remembering all the little tiffs they'd had about that. "She loved you, a lot, you were the first real friend she ever had Sam" He smiled, and it was a genuine smile.

[ooc: ooooo I like!!! I thought it was a manipulated picture when I first glanced at it, I like it!]

[sammysicle]

"Eventually we'll realize it wasn't anybody's fault. She just loved riding too much." Still, it just killed her that she was so close but she also believed everything happened when it should and that it was just her time. "We were talking about how you didn't like her riding when she was pregnant. Steve and I were the opposite. I was worried and he talked me into it." She'd never ride one pregnant again. She'd been staring at her beer bottle until his last words and she turned to look at him once more. "I was, really?" After all the shit she'd been through in her life, that really made her feel special and she returned his smile. "I loved her, too. She was the best friend I've ever had." And Sam knew she'd never have another friend like Jen.

[sgtshriver]

Rob chuckled and nodded his head, "Yeah, I walked downstairs one mornin' and there was a note sayin' she was at the barn, I think I got there in about five minutes, and there she was, on Harley and seven months pregnant, runnin' him at full speed in the pasture. Scared me to death but," he took a sip of beer and sighed, "He always took care'a her" he said quietly. He smiled and looked over at Sam, nodding, "Mhm, you were, she used to tell me that was the reason we moved here, to Fort Hood from California, so she could meet her best friend" he said softly.

[sammysicle]

"Nobody could keep her off of Harley. She loved that horse and he did take care of her." Until now. Whatever spooked him, luckily didn't spook Lily or it could have been her and Jen both gone. "I rode Lily a couple times when I was about five or six months pregnant because Steve kept telling me it was fine. I wasn't really comfortable with it." With those words, she took a long drink of her beer and with Rob's last words, she couldn't look at him a moment, not until she knew she wouldn't burst into tears. "She told you that?" She finally looked at him with a smile. "You know, moving here was one of the best things to happen to me. "I have Steve. Will and Carol are like parents to me, Chloe has a dad and grandparents, and I finally had a best friend."

[sgtshriver]

Rob nodded his head and looked over at her, "Mmhm she did, she said it many times" he said gently, taking a sip of his beer. "We'll get through this ... somehow" he said quietly, knowing it was going to be a long, long journey.

[sammysicle]

"I'll never have another best friend like her." she said softly before taking her eyes off of him and taking a few sips of her beer. She had other friends, Jen did too, but it wasn't the same. When he spoke again, Sam looked over at him and gently squeezed his hand. "Yeah, we will. We all have each other."

[sgtshriver]

Rob squeezed her hand back and smiled at her, "You're a great woman Sam, I can see why you and Jen never fought" he chuckled, squeezing her hand again and a part of him hoped they stayed friends because having Sam in his life would be like having a piece of Jen, just like having Josh.

[sammysicle]

"I don't think we ever had a disagreement. We just got along so good." She kept a hold of his hand a moment longer, he and Josh the only connection she had left to Jen. She knew with her next words she should probably wait for Steve and do it together but she just had to say something now, not wanting to lose either of them. "Steve and I were talking and we were wondering if you and Josh wanted to stay with us for a while. We have plenty of room. Chloe has the two twin beds for her and Josh and we have the spare bedroom and room over the garage."

[sgtshriver]

Rob looked over at Sam when she spoke and took a breath, thinking it over and shrugging a bit, "I ... I couldnt do that to you, crowd your space, Josh and I will be okay, Ill go home in the next day or so and start boxing ... putting some of Jens things in boxes and up in the attic" He said softly, taking a sip of his beer.

[sammysicle]

"You wouldn't be crowding us and look how good it's been for Josh having Chloe around. If you two go home so soon...you're both just gonna miss her more and he's not gonna sleep good, you're not gonna sleep good. I can help you box up her stuff." she offered, worried that it wouldn't be good for him and Josh to be home alone knowing Jen wasn't coming back.

[sgtshriver]

Steve had stirred and realized it had been a lot longer than it normally took her to pee, or even go get a drink of water and he scoots out of bed, heading downstairs and he hears Sams voice, and then Rob, spotting the empty beer bottles and sucked dry tequila bottle on the counter in the kitchen and he moves towards the couch, "Sam ..." He said softly, "Come'on, lets get you back to bed" He said, holding his hand out for her.

[sammysicle]

Sam looked up when she heard Steve's voice and he had the worst timing, which made her frown at him. "I was telling Rob how we wanted him and Josh to come stay with us for a while." She looked at Rob a moment before getting up and taking Steve's hand, snuggling up against him. "He doesn't wanna crowd us."

[sgtshriver]

Steve looked at Rob and reached to squeeze his shoulder gently, "Lets talk about this when both of you have had nothing to drink thats alcoholic and it aint two in the mornin'" He said and Rob just stared at the TV, Steve tugging Sams hand and walking up to their bedroom. Part of him was angry, angry she'd been sitting downstairs drinking, and by the looks of it, pretty heavily, not sure how much of that tequila bottle she'd joined in on, and the other part understood why she'd been drinking.

[sammysicle]

Steve never gave her a chance to say anything to Rob before he lead her back upstairs. "Why'd you make me come back to bed? We were just drinking and talking, forgetting about how sad we are." she explained, walking to the bathroom first and sitting down on the commode. "Can you get me a glass of water?" She did not want a hangover later that day though she Rob had drank well over half the bottle of tequila before she found him and she'd only had about four bottles of beer, not nearly enough to get her good and drunk.

[sgtshriver]

He doesnt answer her question, mostly because he really didnt have an answer for her at the moment and he instead nods his head and moves swiftly, grabbing her a glass of water and walking back to the bathroom, handing it and two asprin to her, "Take these too sweetheart"

[sammysicle]

She washed her hands once she was finished and took the glass of water from him. She looked at the pills a moment before taking them from his hand. "I should be okay. I haven't had THAT much and I'm gonna drink all this water." She knew she had some explaining to do and right now, she couldn't tell if he was mad or not.

[sgtshriver]

Hes not angry, at least not anymore, and when she takes the pills from him he turns and splashes some water on his face, wiping down with a towel and looking at her, "Sam, you havent really drank in a while, and you didnt have much to eat, I just dont want you to get sick" He said softly and turned to walk back into the bedroom.

[sammysicle]

She listened to what he said and when he went to the bedroom, she just stood there a moment and drank her glass of water, refilling it and drinking it again. She turned out the light when she was finished and crawled into bed, looking over at him. "I didn't plan on drinking. I went for water and saw him on the couch with the tequila. I went to see if he was okay and he handed me the bottle. I only had a few drinks of it. He'd almost finished it all before I got there. We ended up talking, he was telling me things about Jen. We needed to talk." Of course, she didn't need to drink, it just happened.

[sgtshriver]

He listens to her and waits for her to finish, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling and once shes done talking, he glances over at her, "Sam, you dont gotta explain yourself, you're an adult, I aint gonna force you to stay in bed or anythin', I was just worried about you drinkin' too much on an empty stomach" He said quietly, looking up at the ceiling again and folding his arms behind his head.

[sammysicle]

She watched him a moment and just had the feeling something didn't seem right. "You...are you mad?" she asked, rolling closer to him but hesitant to touch him. "I wasn't trying to explain myself. I was just telling you what I was doing, not because I felt I had to but because I wanted to. I thought you might be interested."