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Summer 2013 - Josh and Chloe are 3.5

Sam and Jen had been looking forward to Saturday all week. Carol would be watching Chloe and Josh while Sam and Jen took Lily and Harley out on one of the trails. It had been a while since they'd both been out together. Rob and Steve were going to be working on their trucks, or so they said. Sam seen them more likely to sit out under one of the big shade trees with a cooler full of beer and doing nothing. She and Jen didn't mind. They were just excited about getting out on the trails.

Once they'd all eaten lunch and got the kids down for their naps, Sam pushed Steve against the wall and kissed him softly. "Sure you two don't wanna come with us?"

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Steve stayed where he was with Harley, not wanting to crowd Jen, and from where he was standing, she didnt look too good and to be honest, he wasnt sure if she'd make it to the hospital. Rob looked down at Jen who currently had her eyes on Sam, tears falling down her cheeks, "Im sorry Sam" She said softly and Rob stood up for a moment walking back to Steve and Steve gently grabs his arm, "Its okay man, the ambulance is comin'" He said softly and Rob shook his head, "Everythin' Steve ... everythin' is broken, her legs, her arms, shes white as a ghost, her lips barely have color I ... I dont know what to do" He said, and Steve squeezed his arm, "Go be with her" Steve said, nodding to Jen and looking at Sam. When Rob comes back Jen looks over at him, "Give Josh a kiss for me" She said softly and Rob nodded his head, "I will" He said and she took a breath, tears streaming down her face because that breath hurt, "And read him bed time stories, and make sure he brushes his teeth" She said and Rob bit his lip, dropping his head and nodding it and Jen looked over at Sam, "Dont let him treat Chloe as anything less than a princess" She said and if she could laugh or smile, she would have.

Sam was shaking her head as Jen spoke, not wanting her to feel guilty for something that wasn't her fault. "Don't you apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Accidents happen." she told her in a calm and soothing voice, much calmer than she usually was during times like this. "The ambulance is on its way. They're gonna get you to a hospital and all patched up. You're gonna be fine." She wasn't sure Jen even believed her or that she believed it herself but she refused to give up, she couldn't give up on Jen. When Rob came back, Sam bit her lip as her tears fell but she refused to cry. She didn't like the way Jen was talking and she knew that Jen knew she probably wouldn't make it. Sam leaned over and pressed her lips to Jen's forehead, leaving them there a moment before she sat back up. "Don't you talk like that. You're gonna be okay, Jen." With those words, she looked up at Steve, doing all she could to hold herself together in front of Jen.

Will hears the ambulance pull up and motions for the paramedics who luckily can drive through the field and take the access road up the trail and Steve looks at Sam and then to Rob who holds onto Jens hand tightly, leaning and kissing her head. "Stop, its okay, its all gonna be okay, the ambulance just got here, we're gonna get you outta here and you'll be back up on Harley in no time" Rob said, trying to be positive, not sure if he believed it or if Jen believed him but he tried and Jen tried to take another breath, "Sam ..." She said softly and squeezed Sams hand, "I love you like a sister" She said quietly just as the paramedics pulled up and ran over to Jen, tugging the backboard along and everything happens so fast, Steve has to move in and gently tug Sam away, "Sammy ... come'ere, let 'em do their work" He said softly, letting Rob stay put, he knew better and knew to stay out of the way.

The medics work fast, finding veins for IV lines, hooking her up to oxygen, getting her on the backboard and lifting her up and walking to the back of the rig where the gurney was, hoisting her onto it and strapping her on before pushing it into the back of the ambulance and Rob climbs in with her.

Sam wasn't sure she believed him either or if she even believed those words when it came from her. Jen was just hurt so bad and Sam hadn't yet thought of internal injuries other than her broken bones. When she said Sam's name, she squeezed her hand tight, hoping Jen could feel it. "What is it sweetie." She smiled down at Jen and brushed her hand across Jen's forehead. "I love you too, just like a sister and once you get better, we're gonna be back out on Harley and Lily." She didn't get a chance to say or do anything else before she felt Steve pulling her away. "Noooo!!" She started to protest until Steve spoke and she buried her face in his shirt, finally allowing herself to cry.

After a few moments, she wiped her face dry on Steve's shirt and turned around to watch them load Jen into the ambulance. "We'll be there soon." she told Rob after Steve stopped her from climbing into the ambulance. She assumed Will would ride Lily and bring Harley back with him. She just wanted to get to the hospital.

Rob nodded his head and the paramedic closed the back doors before hopping in and heading off down the road.

Will watched and looked at Sam and Steve, "You two take the gator down and head to the hospital, Ill take these two back, call the vet and see what we can do about Harley" He said and Steve nodded, walking with Sam to the gator and hopping in, hurrying off to the house and hurrying to the SUV, hopping in and knowing his dad will fill Carol in and she'll bring Josh by later once they've got Jen stable.

Steve drives to the hospital, glancing over at Sam, still in her shirt covered with blood and he reaches in the back and finds one of his Army shirts, handing it to her, "Here babe" He said softly, moving his hand to her leg and rubbing over her thigh, pulling into the emergency parking and finding a spot, jumping out and waiting for Sam, hurrying up inside and he sees Rob, NOT in the ER, but sitting in one of the chairs, head in his hands and Steve swallows, walking to him and Rob looks up when Steve touches his shoulder and he stands, shaking his head and Steve feels that pit in his stomach, "She ... internal bleedin' they ... it was just, it was ... too much for her" He said, voice cold, void of any emotion and he doesnt dare look at Sam, too scared to face her right now too.

Once Jen was taken away in the ambulance, Sam was quiet all the way back to the house and even on the way to the hospital. She pulled of her tank and dropped it onto the floor of the SUV and put on Steve's shirt. It was familiar and a bit soothing. She still didn't say anything or move until they'd parked and rushed into the hospital, Sam swallowing hard when she saw Rob. She knew that's not where he should have been right now and she stood quietly beside Steve until Rob spoke and her tears started falling once more. "Nooooo! She can't be. She's gotta be okay. We were just talking about growing old together and still riding horses." She backed away from both Rob and Steve, shaking her head and just wanting to run away until the pain stopped and someone told her Jen was okay.

Steve looked from Rob and over to Sam, watching her back up and he reaches for her, "Sam ... Sammy ..." He said softly, taking a step towards her as Rob sat back down and rubbed his hand over his face, Steve walking to Sam and reaching out for her, "Sam come'ere, its okay ... its okay, you ... you did everythin' you could for her ... you ... its okay" He whispered.

Steve took a step toward her and she took another step back. She still wanted to run away but once she finally looked up at Steve, she went into his arms and shook her head. "I tried to save her. I was so close and I...I just couldn't." she sobbed, looking up at Steve. "Before Harley ran, I tried to grab his reins...but I couldn't reach them. I'm sorry, Rob. God, I'm so sorry." She buried her face in Steve's shirt once more, crying harder and gasping for air like she did when she'd get really upset.

He didnt push her or force her to come to him, if she'd taken off, he would have given her a head start before chasing after her but when she finally comes into his arms he hugs her tight and sways her back and forth, "Shhhh its ... you did Sam, you did everythin' you could" He said softly an Rob looked up at Sam, standing and moving a hand to rub her shoulders, "Its okay Sam, its not your fault" He said, heading outside and for the first time in a long time, pulling out a cigarette, he always had a pack on him and he and Steve would sometimes have one while they drank but not too often since they'd had kids but he pulls the unopened pack out and tugs a cigarette out, lighting it and leaning up against the wall outside the hospital. Steve felt Sams body racking with sobs and he kissed her head, "Sammy, take a breath, take a deep breath" He whispered in her ear and the last thing he wanted was for her to pass out due to lack of air.

She really just wanted to run away but knew Steve would just come and get her. She couldn't help but think about how damn close she was to grabbing those reins and could have stopped Harley. She couldn't help but feel she could have done more. She could hear Steve but for a moment she didn't listen to him and she started coughing. Finally though, she made herself take a deep breath and another and another. Once she had calmed down some, she looked up at Steve. "I want to see her, just one last time." she pleaded but knew she couldn't unless Rob let her and she just didn't have the heart to ask.

Steve knew Sams brain was already going a mile a minute about what she should and could have done different, how she could have fixed all of this, what she did wrong, and he knew that she'd feel this way for a long time and there wasnt anything he could do to change her thought process, no matter how many times he told her it wasnt her fault. "Sit here babe, Ill be right back" he whispered, heading outside and spotting Rob, putting a hand on his shoulder as he takes the last drag of his cigarette. "She wants to see her dont she?" Rob asked and Steve nodded, staying quiet, "She dont gotta ask, we're family, she can go see her" He said quietly and Steve patted his back, "You know where to find me buddy okay?" He said, knowing how hard this was, actually not REALLY knowing how hard this was but he could only imagine and he put himself in Robs place and knows he'd be a mess right now if that were Sam in that E.R.

He heads back in and reaches for Sams hand, "Come'on, lets go see her" He said softly, seeing a few nurses and doctors coming out of the area where Jen was as they walked back, knowing they'd probably cleaned a lot of the dirt off of her to see the extent of her injuries and he tugs back the curtain where she is and squeezes Sams hand. "Want me to come in with you or stay out?" He asked.

She took a seat in the waiting area and pushed her hair back behind her ears. She looked down and kept her eyes on her clasped hands until Steve came back inside and she took his hand, walking with him to where Jen was in the ER. She took a deep breath, bracing herself when he opened the curtain. "Just give me a few minutes alone." It was all she needed and she walked over to Jen, letting Steve shut the curtain.

She stood there a few moments and just looked at Jen, easily able to see how battered her body was from being dragged by Harley. She wanted to hate him for doing this to Jen and she did a little but knew that even after what happened, Jen would never fault him for it. She brushed her hand over Jen's cheek, cold and lifeless. It caused her to pull it back before she spoke softly.

"Jen, I'm so, so sorry I couldn't save you. I tried to stop Harley, he just took off too fast and I couldn't catch him. I tried so hard." She was sobbing quietly again, her hand resting on top of Jen's. "I'm so sorry you had to spend your last hour alone but I had to go for help and Rob got to see you for those last few minutes. We're gonna take care of Josh and Rob. Josh is gonna know what a wonderful and caring woman his mama was. I'm gonna make sure of that. He's never gonna forget you. I won't let him and I'm never gonna forget you. You're my best friend, always will be and I love you so much. I'm just sorry I let you down."

She had to stop when she started crying softly once more and she squeezed Jen's hand softly before burying her face in her own hands.

Edited 2013-03-17 04:04 (UTC)

Steve stays put on the other side of the curtain, listening to Sam talk to Jen and while hes not crying, his heart is breaking with every word Sam says, wishing there was something he could do, for both her and Rob but theres nothing and he knows it. He stays put for a while, waiting until he hears silence and then the soft sighs and crying coming from Sam before tugging the curtain back and stepping inside, sliding a hand over Sams back, leaning and kissing Jens forhead, "Dont you worry about a thing sweetheart, we're gonna take good care'a Josh and Rob, and Im gonna take good care'a Sam, you just go be you up there okay?" He whispered against her forehead, turning to look at Sam and kissing her head, "Maybe we should go baby girl?" He said, "Chloe and Josh are gonna be hungry and they're gonna need someone to put 'em down, and I think you need to get cleaned up and down to rest too" He said softly, hoping she doesnt put up a fight or anything even though he wouldnt fault her for it.

She shut her eyes when she felt Steve's hand on her back and she stood still just staring at Jen as Steve spoke. She didn't want to let Jen go and she turned, burying her face in Steve's shirt once more, sobbing softly once more. "We can't leave her here all alone." Even Sam knew better but she just wasn't thinking rationally. She knew he was right about the kids but she also knew his parents were home with them right now. She also knew Josh would be asking for his mama before bed. She didn't want to deal with any of it. She just wanted Jen back.

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